Thursday, May 17, 2012
Q & A: How Can I Get Him to Help More?
So Thursday is already here. Sorry I was not around yesterday. I have been a tad under the weather lately. Apparently no rest and over doing things results in feeling yucky. Who would have thought that?
Typically I post a Q & A session on Friday mornings. Lately I have received so many kind comments on Q & A posts. Sometimes it is weird to know people are reading this blog. Yes, that is the whole point but when people let me know they are it kind of throws me. Thursday will now have a Q & A session so that Friday can be light and fluffy with Love Song Friday. The post may cover relationships, money, clothing, happiness, weddings or whatever your heart desires. Surprisingly the favorite question sessions have been focused more on relationships than wedding questions. Planning brides do not fret. I still plan to tackle those tough questions about lighting, cakes and bouquets.
For every woman you are in some kind of relationship. Regardless of where you are in life, whether planning your big day or 10 years married, we all go through similar situations. Now I am no relationship expert but I do know a thing or to about dating, love and life. I figure if I can help then why not?
Today's question is for any woman, wife, girlfriend or bride. Let's see, that covers every type of womanly species.
Q. How can I get my significant other to help more around the house?
A. Ladies and possibly 1 % of gentlemen, we have all dealt with this. Your husband comes home from work and wants dinner done. Don't forget the clean clothes and freshly dusted house. Sometimes I think our spouses or significant other doesn't mean to be an added stress but it can come across that way. Now this post is not a rant but before we continue any further if you are in a relationship now where the man does not help you around your house these are the best options for you. If you are married with this problem completely disregard these next two points and skip to the bottom.
1. Ask him for help. Kindly talk with him about pitching around the house a bit more. Be positive and uplifting. A loving man will agree to help. Do not nag. Stress how pitching in around the house will result in more time for you two to spend together or more time for him playing video games. Yes, the last thing may make you roll your eyes but regardless kindly ask for help.
2. If he continues to not help or is unresponsive, evaluate your relationship. Ladies, this is the man you are going to be with forever. This period you have dated is just a glimpse into your future. If no changes are made and no help is given, then know there is someone better. Plain and simple. Yes, that is harsh but you deserve a man who is going to give you their best. If talking to him a few times (kindly and encouraging) doesn't work and he shows no improvement you really should consider your future. Chances are there are serious issues in other areas of your relationship as well.
But Katie you can't be serious? Why yes I can. There is a man who can help you. I am not saying that he should do the laundry and mop the floors but he can help you dry the dishes and take out the trash. Times have changed. In the past woman did everything...and I mean everything. When we first moved here I did everything as well but I also didn't have a job. A man who is willing to help around the house is a form of respect. Every relationship needs equal respect to be healthy.
Now for the women who are married with a husband who is lagging behind, try these simple methods:
1. Again talk to him. There is a difference between communicating and nagging. If you need help with that I can give you assistance. Politely ask him. Shouting or pushing him continually will result in him never wanting to help. It helps to associate completed house work with how it will benefit him and you. Let him know how much you need him and his manly help.
2. Post-its. Write one word down and put it right where he can see it. Write DVD and put it near the TV so that he knows to pick up the DVD's that may be lying around. Don't take this as a free pass to write paint, cut, sweep, mop, dust, wash, mow and other tasks all over the place. Just to throw him off the post-it trail throw in a fun message every once in a while. A perfect example of a fun post-it in one word: lingerie. Promise he will like that.
3. Assign chores. Don't be afraid to write down what needs to be done every week and agree upon chores that each spouse will complete. It may seem like a small child getting their chore list but if you both know when things need to be done and who is doing what it makes for a smoother week and happier home.
4. Treat yourself. When it comes to yard work Rusty and I break up responsibility. He typically mows and I pull weeds. Regardless we work hard to get the job done...together. Afterwards we always treat ourselves. It may be a movie or a DQ blizzard but reward conquering your large tasks that just need to get done.
Regardless of how helpful he may be right now, ladies you must remember that men sometimes forget. Helping around the house is not natural for a majority of them. It takes time too. Always encourage him. Let him know how grateful you are for him. They put up with us!
Hope you find this post uplifting and not a drag. I want to encourage you and offer healthy solutions versus solutions that just don't work. If you have other suggestions, comment below! As for more questions, keep those coming too! I love answering your questions! Happy Thursday! :)
P.S. The picture posted at the top is just a peek at an insanely spicy and fabulous engagement session on 100 Layer Cake. Check out the rest for a little pick me up! Just click here friends!